When I hear the song "I'm Going to Love You Through It"...

this is what I am picturing...

This is what I see with my DH even when I am feeling like giving up he is there. Remember just to hold on and get passed that tough spot. Reach out even if it is to just blog about it. I am actually not sure how many people actually read this blog...but I hope it helps just one even if that one is me.

I hope your hear that too :D

Thanks

Cora

I don't ask for good vibes to be sent out to universe too often...

but I am asking today. I have my appointment today at the Grey Nuns Hospital to do the consultation to have the catheter excised for my tummy, so I can start PD. I am hoping that we can co-ordinate it all. I was quite anxious lastnight and didn't sleep well.

Think I will be listening to Danielle Lowe today, dang I wish I had bought her album when I had met her. She is soooo good!

I am scared to death and so unsure about all of this. Trying to take it all in stride...not really working though :) I just wish that this would all settle...I need to get back on the transplant list, etc. There is a wonderful Rick Tippe song called "Keeping The Faith". It has always been one of my favorite songs and now it brings on more meaning for me. Again, it is has to do with cancer but the feelings are the same.

I am so thankful to my husband who is just amazing :D I don't say it enough but I love you honey. Thank you for being there through it all. Thank you for being my side through it all. thank you for staying strong and for being there even when I wanted to give up and crawl into a hole. You are the best my sweety :)

Cora

So I guess I should let you know what happened at the specialists....

not much other than I had a complete and utter meltdown.  I am not handling my stress very well and have just found out that all the toxins in my body from being in predialysis isn't helping.

I am having difficulties trusting people and so I shut everyone out. I have done it in the past as whenever I let anyone in I ultimately got hurt and it is something I am dealing with right now. Not sure how to deal with my family and the moment...or even who to trust within that family. According to my one mother, I have a "new" and and an "old" family; now that I have this "new" family I don't need to be with the "old" family or some such nonsense.

I really would love to talk about it all but a publication ban on part of the story is in place so I could get arrested for contempt.  Hmmm almost sounds like an idea..lol. Suffice it to say that have a very strange family to deal with and somedays I wish I didn't have to.